How To Use Tantra To Create What You Desire

Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe and fun place to get real and learn about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom, and your relationships.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 284. And it is titled How to Use Tantra to create what you desire. Torture is a loaded word. And as somebody with a Tantra background myself, I am well aware of just how loaded that word is. A lot of people have different ideas on what they think Tantra is. Part of that is because of the way it has largely been taught here in the West. We’re going to talk about that. We’re going to talk about that and a whole lot more. I hope in this episode to clear up some of those myths and help share what Tantra really is because it really is an amazing and beautiful thing if you can understand it and learn how to use it correctly. And I have some guests on the show today who are going to help us understand that.

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All right. My guests today are Dr. Elsbeth Meuth (I think I got that correct. We’ll find out in a minute) and Freddy Zendal Weaver. They have assisted 1000s of couples and singles. To create lasting intimacy and fulfillment in their life and relationships. They are featured on Showtime’s documentary series sexual healing and the Emmy award-winning NBC show, starting over best-selling authors of sexual enlightenment. Endorsed by a world-renowned spiritual pioneer, Dr. Michael Beckwith, and the cofounders of Tantra Nova Institute in Chicago. They have coached billionaires, innovators, and power couples all over the world shared their intimacy secrets at a global YPO Young Presidents Organization conference in the city of love Paris, and got nominated as Changemaker at the White House sponsored 2016 United State of Women Summit in Washington, DC. So I think we’ve got the right people to talk to you today. Welcome, Dr. Elizabeth and Freddie.

Freddy Zental Weaver 3:06
Hey Kevin, thanks. Good to be here.

Kevin Anthony 3:10
All right. Well, thanks for being on the show. Like I said, I think we’ve probably got the right people to talk to about this subject today. I want to dive right in. So you’ve been teaching Tantra for 22 years. That’s, that’s a long time. I wonder if you could like we got to start and sort of lay a foundation here. Could you explain to the audience, both what Tantra is, and also what it isn’t like, just to start off?

Freddy Zental Weaver 3:41
Great. Okay. So yeah, tantra is a lot of things, there are a lot of variations of Tantra, you know, and when we started our business, tantra, Nova, at New Tantra new, so we were taking the aspects of working consciously with sexual energy, to get to something we don’t see about how we’re living our life, to then create more of what we want to create. Bhutan has a lot of things and there are many variations, we’re taking aspects of the ancient Indian approach to Tantra, and also some of the Chinese approach to Tantra. And so also blending it with some of the approaches to transformation from the West. Generative language, is how we create our reality and language, how we discover ourselves and the creative process, and music and movement and art. We created our whole gestalt of how to work consciously with lifeforce and sexual energy and that altered state to create a meditation Tantra sexual meditation that really allows people to get more deeply connected to the subconscious aspects of how we’re creating our life.

Kevin Anthony 4:47
Yeah, so that’s a lot. It is a lot but here’s here’s the kind of point that I want to make for the audience who’s listening. Nowhere in there, did you hear him say anything about tantrums? All about how to be a really great sexual master in the bedroom. Now, it’s not that it isn’t that, but it’s not that it’s only that. Right?

Freddy Zental Weaver 5:10
Exactly. It’s bigger than that, you know, it’s a lot of you know, people have heard, you know, taught the Word contract guys, particularly oh, I want to be the spin golly lover that does sexy yoga. And certainly, the practices that will teach will inform your mutual lovemaking. Yet, when we’re coming, when people come to our workshops, where you know, they do like a, an intake, so they’re stating what they’d like to get out of the work. And they’re usually coming here for a reason, they want to either create a relationship or a better relationship or something in their life that hasn’t shown up yet. So when they get into the work that gets oh, wow, this is a whole nother thing we could do with sex, in addition to creating life, you know, and having fun, we can also meditate, we learn how to get more deeply connected to our dreams and our hopes and what we want to create.

Kevin Anthony 5:58
Yeah, that’s, that’s amazing and wonderful. And I just, I thought it was a really good place to start because I really wanted people to understand that Tantra was a whole lot more than just sexual techniques. And it’s unfortunate, because here in the West is largely taught as sexual techniques. And so that’s what people think, you know, I often even as a coach, have people come to me, and you know, they say, I want to learn Tantra. And the first thing I’d say was, what does that mean to you? Right, because what is the you’re actually here seeking to learn? And the majority of the time, it’s they want to learn how to be better in bed, which is fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. But Tantra is so much more than that.

Freddy Zental Weaver 6:40
Yeah, particularly like for men who, yeah, go ahead.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 6:43
Yeah, that makes just so that it’s, the beauty of it is to be returned to the indeed, great integration of our sexual, emotional, and mental-spiritual self. And the practices are a great way of encountering ourselves like that. Because most of us, when we grow up, we got compartmentalized, you know, it was not okay to touch my sexual center when I was five years old, or even 15 years old, you know, like, don’t go there, wait until you’re married. So there is this distancing from that, however, it’s a life-giving energy. So how can I learn to be with that energy, and then connect with my heart center with my love center, and have the love Center and the sexual center not being separate, like, for me, it was that I separated out at some point, when I was deep, you know, felt deeply hurt, disappointed in my heart. I closed the heart off, although I was looking for love, I was trying to get it through sex. That was pretty easy, actually. But that didn’t mean necessarily, that I got the love that I was looking for. So that is what I mean, with compartmentalization, that there’s our sexual self, there’s our heart and love self. There are our thoughts and narratives and interpretations and then our conscious spiritual selves. And to come back into connection, into the flow of these different dimensions. They are distinctly different, yet really go very well together in terms of feeling whole, complete, and fulfilled.

Kevin Anthony 8:45
Yeah, that’s amazing. And a perfect segue, because honestly, the very next question on my list, is whether our sexuality and spirituality are separate. And you’ve kind of already addressed that. But so I did an entire episode on the show, actually, my wife and I, when she was still around, did an entire show called Sex and Spirituality. Are they mutually exclusive? And our take on that was obviously not but I’m really curious to hear your take on it, since you’ve already brought up this idea of people compartmentalizing, which there are many reasons for that. One of which is most of the religions that most of us were raised in purposely compartmentalize those things. And so maybe you could talk a little bit about that, like, are they really different? And if not, how do they blend together?

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 9:36
Mm hmm. Very good. Yeah. So let’s look at energy because that is really what we are dealing with here because sexual energy, emotional energy, spiritual energy, these are dimensions we can attach we cannot see within me i However, we can strongly feel them in different ways an energy shows can show up in different ways in the human being like sexual energy aroused energy, or love, energy, passionate energy, it can show up as thought energy, as spiritual connection to the universe, spiritual consciousness, universal connection, whatever you may want to call it. So these energies have how I look at it, they have different distinctions, and each of it has their place. So, let’s go back to what you brought. Kevin, the sexual and spiritual Yeah, that in our, you know, cultural in our general knowingness it’s like they don’t belong together, one belongs into the bedroom, the other one belongs into the church or the synagogue or the temple or the mosque. We are not talking about these institutions here, we are talking about the human being that always has been an earthly being and and heavenly being a physical sexual being and a spiritual divine being, and they go hand in hand. So in the tantric practice, we can learn to use that wonderful sexual life-giving energy to transmute up all the way into our spiritual, divine universal self. And then, of course, in form from that universal spiritual self, my sexual self, one is not more important than the other, they are just of different nature. And we want to draw on that and bring awareness and consciousness to it. And that becomes a whole new dance. And for me, it’s always it allows me to come into oneness with myself, instead of being separate.

Kevin Anthony 12:07
You go ahead if you have something to add to that.

Freddy Zental Weaver 12:09
You know, it’s like a time when, you know, science and spirituality to the same thing, saying the same thing that it’s all connected, you know, string theory, stating different particle theory saying everything’s connected by string vibration, and that, you know, when we have in the past, you know, we go into the sexual experience, and it’s been creating life forever. You know, that’s what it does. And when we’re in that energy, we’ve been Ness last 100 or so years procreating with our recreating with the development of contraceptives. And so now we’re discovering how we can co-create with this creative intelligence. And it’s like for years, you know, you go in that energy, and for three seconds, you’re in this blissful cosmic oneness, you know, that orgasmic moment? The little death? The French call it, right? Yes, exactly. So how can we now begin to live our life from that place, and tantra are what are one of the few aspects of learning the meditative alchemy, of really starting to listen to our dreams, and our desires, and to live into a new possibility, given that we’re like this clay that we’re kind of like, you know, soaking everything up from the beginning, you know, I always say, this is not teaching you anything you don’t know, it’s reminding you of what you’ve forgotten.

You know, because we start out in the womb, when we’re floating in the womb, it’s womb service, you know, it’s wonderful, you know, it’s effortless. And all of a sudden, we’re born whoosh, you know, whack the bottom guys, you get the release, cut, they did send me back. And then life happens, all this stuff, good, bad, and so on, then we get to a point in our life, where it’s like, we want to create something that we have a dream about, that we’ve never created before. And that’s our connection to the universe, it goes on forever, this ad infinitum of the universe, which is hard to even imagine. And that’s our lineage. So our dreams, and now with the whole idea of the quantum become much more available, and we’re starting to learn how to shift from this claim that we look into the world from the beliefs, to now change to the new belief of what we want to create more of in our life, and taught was just one of those paths. It’s been around forever. There’s an intelligence encapsulated in sexual energy when you bring consciousness to it, that creates that kernel of that energy, creativity, and pleasure start to show up in areas of life that seem unrelated to the simple and just in the simple process of living.

Kevin Anthony 14:21
Yeah, I mean, that’s fantastic. And I loved both of your explanations. And I have to say, having done coaching work around relationships and relationship dynamics for a fairly long time now, I’m always observing couples, especially couples who have been together for a long time, and just observing how they relate. And just by watching the two of you, I can tell whether or not you’re a successful couple or not. Cuz there are enough little things and I just love the way that you guys interact. And what was really wonderful about the way you both explained that was At first, we got a very feminine description of Tantra, and what it is, and the spirituality and the sexuality. And then we’ve got one that’s a bit more on the masculine side a little bit more science oriented. But I love that you brought both of those to that, which is really great, because, you know, some people listening, they’re gonna hear the more masculine explanation a little bit better, and some people are gonna hear the more feminine one a little bit better. But it’s also a beautiful representation of the masculine and the feminine coming together, right, that Yin, Yang, that whole basic idea of Tantra, it’s a huge part of Tantra and you guys are living it, I can tell just, by the way, you interact.

Freddy Zental Weaver 15:47
To answer your question, which was what is sexuality and spirituality have to do with, you know, the whole thing? And there we have it. So I’m glad that we were able to yin-yang that.

Kevin Anthony 15:58
So, you also started to get into talking about, you know, using the term sexual energy. My next question was really, what is the difference between sex and sexual energy, I want the audience to really understand what we’re talking about when we’re saying sexual energy and how that may or may not be different from sex itself.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 16:23
You know, this is really rare to get the question posed like that because sex and sexual energy have now collapsed. Like they are the same. You know, however, that sex is an act. And we can have sex without being intimate to our bodies being together is wonderful, there’s nothing right or wrong about it. In my eyes, it’s just the first level of connection. So sexual energy. For us the way we use sexual energy, this is life or sign up, say, we often also call it Life or sexual energy. So sexual energy is no different from lifeforce, they are the same, and then that energy can show up at different gradations. You know, like, right now we are sitting here we are talking, and most likely all of our energy is at a saddle state, at least I assume, no one is aroused at this moment.

Freddy Zental Weaver 17:29
Speak for yourself.

Kevin Anthony 17:32
I was gonna make that same joke.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 17:38
So then when I walk in the summer at Lake Michigan for my workout, and I feel the breeze on my skin, I’m not highly aroused. However, the energy has recent slightly, feels pleasant, just very comfy, very developing. And then of course, all the way up to a climax tuner check Ulation a high point, it’s the same energy just at different gradations. So through the tantric practice, we can learn to play our energy, like we can learn to play the flute, you know, different registers. And the more we practice it, the more we become attuned to it, the more we may also, several these beautiful moments, not always going up to the highest level, it could be just in the middle are a little lower, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be just equally blissful. But that I find is really wants to be appropriate it you know, and in the appropriation, the the sensation, the sense for it gets cultivated. And that’s true both for the individual and then of course, also as a couple because we can experience this in synchronicity and flowing and circulating together.

Kevin Anthony 19:10
For you looks like you had something you want to add to that.

Freddy Zental Weaver 19:13
Just to add to it, it’s you know, as I mentioned earlier when you bring consciousness to the sexual creativity and pleasure start showing up in areas of life that seem completely unrelated to sex, so what sexual energy so when we think of sexual energy, most folks will think of something romantic, something sexy, something, you know, physical robot, you know, but and then again, you are bringing the consciousness to the aspect of this like in my Men’s workshop, they learn to self-love practice, right? So as opposed to masturbation to ejaculation, they learn how to bring the energy up and not just last longer at a higher level, but to begin to circulate what I call this orgasmic connector. Now you can even do that same tapping into the pleasure of the sensation of energy at a low level, like working with a soft-on versus a hard-on, right? And it’s learning to tap into the focus on the user’s attention on the sensation and location and intention to move it with your breath. And when you start listening for energy at that level, again, the kernel of that energy, creativity, and pleasure, you start to become more sensitive to it, it becomes more familiar and accessible outside of anything that seems sexual. If I if I said that I hate my job, and 30 more years of retirement, that thought has a cascading energetic effect on my total felt sense of my body. So when I’m listening at that level, I wouldn’t even say that because it’s like, let me let that thought go, because that doesn’t even serve my greater good here. You know, so the listening, everything shifts. So what sexual energy is can mean a lot of things. It’s like it’s everywhere. Once you bring consciousness to it, it’s everything.

Kevin Anthony 20:50
Oh, yes, it is. And this is, this is exactly why I asked you that question is because I really wanted the audience to hear I mean, they hear this from me a lot, but I wanted them to hear from other people, right, that that this idea, you know, we call it sexual energy, we call it chi, we call it gene, we call it lifeforce energy, universal light, whatever, whatever that word or phrase is that we want to use to describe it is all describing that same thing that is moving through us. And so once we understand that then we can get to the next level, which is what you guys are really doing, which is teaching people how to use that right to create things in their life. And I love you brought up the point that people will see that once they start doing this. And once they start learning how to harness this energy they’ll see other areas of their life start to shift. This is one of the main things I tell everybody who’s going to work with me, I said, this isn’t just sex coaching, you will find out that when you solve this, you’ll start to see all these other areas of your life shift as well. And that’s something that’s hard for a lot of people to really understand. They don’t really know how or why that is. And so that’s my next question. And where I want to go next is, how can people use this sexual energy for more than just sex. Like, how does that work? How do they do that? How can they shift things in their life through this practice?

Freddy Zental Weaver 22:15
Yeah, that’s a great question.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 22:17
Okay. I’m gonna take it Yes. So, so let’s talk a little bit about how energy moves in the human being. So energy, lifeforce energy is given to us, we don’t generate it ourselves, it’s given to us at the moment of conception, and it leaves us it leaves the physical body when we leave this planet. I’m not saying that our frequency in an ethereal way disappears, but no longer in this physical body. And so between that conception, and that passing on, there’s this whole time where this energy moves through us, it emanates from the base of the spine moves up in a serpentine way, all the way up to the top of the head, and then back down again, moves up with inhale and down with the exhale. And we can think of it it’s like blood running through us, we are not aware of it, but it does, it’s sharp all day long. The grid for the light is the arteries and veins, and the nervous system is the grid for energy flow. So of course, the spine has a lot of nerve strings that go up. So the energy moves up, up into the heart and Heart Center, not just the heart, Oregon, and then it moves up all the way to the top of the head to my divine self, to my you know, mental self, and back down again, it already happens like that all the time without my doing.

So in the tantric practice, we bring awareness to what already is, maybe outside overall, you know, outside of our awareness, so we bring it into awareness. And inhale tree goes hand in hand with a breath, when we don’t breathe, we die. It’s rather obvious. So we put that to use in the tantric practice. So when I become aware of my parasympathetic breasts, I then can actually move my energy or support the movement of energy throughout my body, which means I can move sensation, I can move an orgasmic sensation from my clitoris up into my heart or into my third eye, you know, and then the other way round. You know, I have a splendid thought I could permeate my heart was this thought or could permeate my whole body with my left cell My heart cells, you know what, wherever I bring my focus to energy follows, you know, so and I can do this in subtle states of energy. And I can do this in aroused states of energy. And now I’m wondering if I answered your question.

Freddy Zental Weaver 25:21
So yeah, how can you bring this energy as a way to shift something in your life? So that’s kind of the question, right?

Kevin Anthony 25:28
So you got the first part Elsbeth, which is really explaining how to move that energy. And now Freddy, I think you’re gonna go down the path of connecting that with how do you actually create stuff in your life. They are two halves of the same question.

Freddy Zental Weaver 25:43
Okay, good. So, you know, people come to us and they have an intention, something, they want to create music, something that relationship because that’s kind of our specialized thing. But you know, in our book, we mentioned that Napoleon Hill wrote a book Think And Grow Rich, and his whole idea was to get people to think to believe that they could be rich. And in his book, he mentions lucky is the person who learns to use their sexual energy to create wealth. Okay, so now given that we are teaching you how to create wealth, you can use the same approach to do anything. So you come with an intention, you learn some of the distinctions and the practices and you learn the sexual meditation. So in that sexual meditation, whether and whether you’re doing consciousness work or not, we’re more open, loving, vulnerable, and receptive. Chemically, we’re changing our endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, the feel-good hormones, with the distinctions of breath, energy awareness, and intention, we get more connected to the subconscious aspects of what’s running, and keeping us in a place and allow now allowing more space for something new show up.

So now in that listening in that intimate vulnerability, in that listening, that happens in that meditation, that accuse you and becomes more familiar and accessible in your regular life. So when you are self-aware of yourself at that level, and you get triggered by your beloved or something at work, or whatever it is, you’re looking to shift, you are much more aware of it. And that gives you a choice, that choice is the difference, you know, developing the witness, state of mind that meditative aspect of ourselves, where we’re watching our thoughts, and not just being our thoughts. And then coupled with the altered state of the sexual a coupled with intention, it flows into everything that you do. And particularly if you have something specific you’re working on, that really becomes very apparent in terms of what you did and what you want to do. To then create the shift that you want to create, you become much more present and much more choice in your life. Then you’re doing and you’re being and you’re being you’re doing and you’re having.

Kevin Anthony 27:48
Yeah, so you know, my wife and I used to teach a practice, and we used to call it sex magic. And then which was a term that came from from friends of ours, one of whom wrote a book called Sex Magic. And so we were using those templates, basically, that same idea of cultivating the sexual energy, moving it through, and doing exactly what both of you just described. And that’s why I really wanted to ask you that question. I really wanted to hear your explanation, because I am aware that using a term like sex magic is triggering for some people to hear. They’re thinking ritual and cult, all kinds of weird stuff like that.

Freddy Zental Weaver 28:25
Yeah, like it’s some kind of trick or whatever.

Kevin Anthony 28:27
But it’s not; it’s exactly what you guys were just describing. I’m curious, too. So I don’t want to go too far down this, this rabbit hole, because not really the focus of the discussion here. But we were just talking a little bit about sort of, for lack of a better term, manifesting things that you want to create in the world and using your sexual energy to do that. And you brought up Napoleon Hill, of course, thinking grow rich, great book, I’ve probably read that a dozen times over the years or so. And it’s somewhat similar, say to the work of Abraham Hicks. My question is this. It seems when you read or follow any of that type of work, that what really makes the difference is not just thinking it in your head, but feeling it throughout your body. And this is where I see a way that Tantra really helps because Tantra is getting us into that binding. It’s creating a feeling and we’re feeling the energy moves through us and we get to associate that energy with this thing that we’re trying to create. What is your take on that? Like, how do you what do you feel about sort of that idea of feeling it rather than thinking of it and potentially using Tantra?

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 29:43
Yeah, I, for me, it’s the integration of the intentionality that really comes from a focus mind. You know, instead of being all over the place to really see rowing in on, what is that that I want to bring force, you know, so sending it out what my intention is. And then I imbue this with my life-giving energy, you know, it’s like putting fertilizer into it. And the beauty also of sexual meditation, when we use the sexual life-giving energy, and raising this energy, that very particular hormone get actually generated, you know, just like we may do a plant or any, it’s an alteration of hormones and chemicals that also happen in the brain. And we have all these chemicals within us ourselves, so we can incite them. And so we use that wonderful sexual aliveness to imbue to enliven to, you know, have that that be sparked up. And what I find also important is to bring the heart end because the heart really, you know, pulls it in then.

So he goes, we want to support the sexual annulled seed for support, sending out the intention, and then we pull it in so the heart in our life, we feel it through the heart, and what you alluded to that, it’s really, in the experience that is a visceral one, that central one, sensations, emotions, you know, so it’s not the intention, while they may orange about the origin of be the mind, but we don’t stay or get stuck in the mind. It’s just more like part of the cycle. And that is where power resides. And, again, you know, it calls for practice becoming familiar with it. Because at the same time, we also may need to learn to forego the impulse. You know, like, because having an orgasm may be so seductive, but not going over the top, and just riding the wave. And perhaps not for the men not releasing at all will even for the woman when she is more practiced and when she is flowing in the open. We don’t teach this in the beginning to women. But once a woman is more evolved there, she can do the same. Using her beautiful Yoni sexual energy to imbue her heart and guide intention.

Kevin Anthony 32:48
Yeah, I love the way that you describe things, because they’re clear, and yet they’re beautiful. At the same time, there’s a feminine way in which you put those words together that really works for me, hopefully, it works for the audience as well.

Freddy Zental Weaver 33:06
I would say you know that the somatic process is so Mac, if it’s anywhere, it’s everywhere, you know. So when we’re thinking about something, we you know, that you go to an analyst, and we get in the analysis of why if I was my wife, because I followed my mother in law ba ba, thank you for helping me give me that actionable insight. Yet, what do I do with that actionable insight? You know, so how do I actually shift in the moment, and that’s a frequency that’s a vibration, that’s an experience. It’s beyond language. It’s what we were feeling before we had language as humans. So this is kind of tapping us back into a primordial superconsciousness. You know, there was a book, sex superconsciousness by Osho years ago. And you know, that’s really what anybody in a body who’s willing can tap into when they start bringing some consciousness, particularly in the sexual realm, because it just, again leads us back to what we forgotten, because we all experienced it. In that moment. We don’t think of it as some kind of existential, you know, a spiritual experience where we’re in that orgasmic moment yet, when we start bringing consciousness in a walk, and a watcher listening and observer, experiential way. It’s everywhere. And that starts to shift the whole experience.

Kevin Anthony 34:12
Yes, yes, yes. And these are the types of things that I wanted to bring out in this episode. These are the types of concepts that are a bit more abstract and hard for people to get but yet so important, and that’s why I really want to talk about the yes and from the Osho is books from Sex to Superconsciousness is a great book, if you’re really looking to figure out how to sort of bridge that gap. And I also liked so Elsbeth when I’m when I was listening to you describe that. What was going through my mind is so you were talking, and I kind of led you in this direction about the idea that’s not just in your head, and then you kind of the way you brought it together. What popped into my mind was this if you Really want to create what you want to create in your life and harness your sexuality? It does include body mind spirit. So we talked about mine where the intention, body, right where that that physical energy that we’re moving that sexual energy is and then how we’re literally taking that through the heart and third it up into consciousness, it’s literally all three of those it is that classic triad that has been described in so many different religions and systems in the past.

Freddy Zental Weaver 35:30
Beautiful.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 35:32
Okay, you want me to speak on that?

Kevin Anthony 35:34
Well, I was just so that’s my take on it, as I’m listening to you describe hearing all three of those things, and you can tell me if I’m way off base, if you agree, or anywhere in between.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 35:47
Yeah, no, absolutely. So I would like to further you know, build or spin on it that, too, because there is the solo aspect where I want to connect with myself. In that way, as we have been describing it, all the three of us here and looking at it, the cultivation of the self. And wherever we want to take it to, you know, I can take the tantric practice more into the sexual pleasure arena, or I can take it into the heart orgasmic, you know, like the heart opening, where it’s all about love, deep love for ourselves. And then I can take it into the, you know, more cereal, and, you know, depending on where we are in life, taking it into the Cosmic Connection. You know, in letters mean that we leave the feel the sensations in the body, that they are no longer there, you know, they can actually heighten the connection, you know, in where we can become ONE with the Light, it says, then a very unified experience. But I could not have spoken about this, like 20 years ago, because I did not that I didn’t channel my energy at that time. But it since then, so much has evolved within and outside of myself, you know, and I’ve become more and more curious about how is the connection, my connection with the cosmic with the universe, and the universal light or whatever you want to call it, then there is the part of the connection, you know, that calls for or if we wish, to calls for deepening of the connection of the sexual of the heart of the mental and the spiritual. And for that, of course, both partners need to do their work. It’s not enough that just one does, it doesn’t mean that we could come together up to a certain level if only one practices it and brings it to the other. But imagine when both to their practice and they’re evolving? How much higher we can take it together?

Kevin Anthony 38:27
Absolutely. So I didn’t mean to cut you off, right? But I did want to just briefly come back to so you just said imagine if you both do it together where you can take it. And then you also mentioned earlier about how you know if the man learns to control his ejaculation or not ejaculate at all, or same with a woman, you know, a lot of women have a tendency to go for that first clitoral orgasm and be like, Okay, great. You know, my wife used to call it the genital sneeze, you know, and she was always like, Yeah, that’s fine. But try to hold in there and go for, you know, the expansion that you can potentially create if you stick with it long enough. And I just kind of wanted to come back to that point about what you can create if you are able to actually do those things and access those higher realms.

Freddy Zental Weaver 39:12
No, absolutely. And for the man, that’s an essential piece, because in all the variations of tantra that there are, one of the primary edicts is for the man to learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, which is what brings a lot of guys to the interest of Tantra. You know, they, you know, heard of an article we’re staying mentioned, you know, from 20 years ago, oh, I make love to my wife for eight hours a day, right hours in a day. It’s like, well, if it was just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, every broken hip and people would be in like wheelchairs and stuff. There’s a whole experience of gazing and touching and breathing and you know, fast and slow and sending and receiving and the microcosmic orbit and doing all kinds of dancing in that ether. And so and so there’s a lot of fun you can have and again, the the the altered state of awareness and intimacy that happens in a car Just sexual meditation with yourself particularly because that eliminates even the stuff that happens with a with another.

So for instance, we had a youth program years ago, and we were working with young people who were just getting into their puberty, like from 16 to 18. And some of the kids whose parents had done work with us, and some of them hadn’t the two-week program, so we didn’t, we didn’t teach them all the whole sexual piece, but we taught them the self-love piece. The guys anyway. So after about three days, and they’ve learned some breathing techniques, and some muscles, squeeze techniques, and some meditation practices, I have, we separate the guys and the gals, I got, you know, eight of these guys in a room. And, you know, I’m saying like, Okay, so we’re going to do our homework practice. But I’m putting together all the things we’ve been learning for the last three days. So by a show of hands, how many of you guys masturbate? Nobody raises their hand. They all laugh in their head, you know, that’s all like, okay, so they have this prop this laying on the bill that I show.

So you’re bringing the energy up to say, a seven or 810 being the Jacqueline a tour moment, you’re going to squeeze the PEC squeeze like we should that you learned the Kago. And you’re going to breathe it up. You don’t get much attention on the set, location, sensation, or intention to move with the breath, and I teach them over. And then that’s your homework, and don’t ejaculate. So they go home, they come back, oh my god, man, I didn’t think I could do that. Wow, not enough. Now, I believe these are going to be better men when they grow older because they’re not going to just be run by the little head. There’ll be able to oh, what else? Can I do that energy? And who am I in front of? And what do I want to do with this? And is this that? Or is this? You know, it’s not one, you know? So there’s a distinction and there’s an opportunity. So young people learn when they got into their puberty, how to do sexual meditation with themselves, they wouldn’t just be masturbating and having babies, you know, unconsciously and da da da.

Kevin Anthony 41:52
All I can say is how much different would my life have been if my parents had sent me to a workshop like that when I was 16 years old?

Freddy Zental Weaver 42:01
Good, actually. Yeah, when I was 13 years old, and I was going through my puberty, spending a lot of time in the shower. My father, who was a practicing psychiatrist, and a very high-level, you know, self-aware, person, beautiful guy, he died about two years ago, he gave me a book to relay on how to integrate sex and meditation. And that was my first introduction to the whole thing.

Kevin Anthony 42:22
Well, you are very lucky because most of us did not grow up that way. Okay, I want to talk more about sexual meditation, but I am way over when I was supposed to take a break, I was so into the conversation and didn’t want to interrupt it for reading an ad. But I have to so let me go ahead and do that. Then I want to come back and talk about sexual meditation.

Hey, guys, you know what makes a man great, you know, the kind of masculine man that women are irresistibly attracted to and want Is it money, job title, this physical body being great in bed, a big penis are great pickup lines. But what if you don’t have those are only some of them. What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough or are always stuck in the friend zone, I can help you if you’re ready to make bigger changes, and finally become the man you have always wanted to be, then this is the program for you to find out more, please go to https://www.kevinandceline.com/go/warrior. That link is in the description. If you want to know more about a lot of the things that we’re talking about today, I can help you with those things as can my guests today, we’re going to give them an opportunity to plug all that they do in a little bit as well. But yeah, if you figure if you’re sitting there listening to us have this discussion, and you’re going, What do you mean separate orgasm from ejaculation? I thought they were the same thing. And how do you do that? Well, that’s where you can find out how to do that.

All right, so let’s get back to talking about this sexual meditation. So we’ve been talking a lot about tantra, and what Tantra is moving sexual energy. And this idea of sexual meditation has come up quite a few times. And I’m sure that some people listening to this are thinking, what is sexual meditation? What do they mean by that? Does that mean that we close our eyes while we’re having sex or something else? I’m wondering if you can explain what exactly sexual meditation is and how people might be able to use it.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 44:23
So all meditation, no matter what kind of meditation has to do with focusing the mind and calming the mind the chatter of the mind. So in when we do that, actually, we drop more into alpha brainwaves than being in the beta brainwave that really has more nervous or anxious or outside of ourselves. The Alpha brainwaves really, really become calm, and settled. And that is also the place when we when Freddie says being the watch With a weakness, where we can actually watch ourselves like a movie, this is not a cerebral act from the brain, it is being present to how I feel what thought may move through me without getting attached to the feeling or the salt. So we focus our mind. And in sexual meditation, we bring the focused intentional mind to the energies that are within us. And bring it to our sexual self, no matter if we are more on a subtle level or more high. Okay, you take it from there?

Freddy Zental Weaver 45:47
Yeah, so, you know, as mentioned earlier, in the sexual meditation, there is an altered state that we’re in, whether we’re doing consciousness work or not, when we’re in our sexual energy elements getting over a cold, so she’s got a little throat. So again, we’ve got more endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, the feel-good hormones, and were more open, loving, vulnerable, receptive, and emotionally changed. So when we bring in the distinctions of breath, awareness, energy awareness, and say, intention, we’re again in that intimate, vulnerable state, altered state of awareness consciousness, again, we get more connected to the subconscious, the frequency of a story, the aspects of the field, and the sound and the smell of something that we want to create more of in our life. And sometimes there’s a, there’s some letting go, there’s some sadness or anger or something that we see some energy that is, that gets released, that allows us more freedom to choose to then move towards that thing we most deeply want to create. And that’s what we’ve seen in our own lives. And we’ve seen with 1000s of couples and individuals that we’ve worked with doing these practices, it’s getting out of the belief, from the experiences of the past, you know, well, she’s not going to do that, because she’s never done it before. That belief, so then it doesn’t happen. So then when you start to get into the letting go of all of the disappointment, and story around whatever it was, and then begin to move into what it feels like to create, and have and move in that space of what you want. That starts to become what you see what you believe what you started, what starts to show up, it’s what you’re like, you don’t notice red cars until you have one, you know, they were always there, you know.

Kevin Anthony 47:31
So, I’m wondering, since we’re getting close to the end of the show, people are listening to this. And some of them hopefully are going. That sounds really interesting. I want to know more about that. First, what would be your advice to somebody who was interested in wanting to pursue this type of thing? And then of course, that will lead to you being able to help people where they can find out more about you and your programs.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 48:00
So, the first thing is really to become more familiar with the conscious breath. So we breathe all the time. You know, it’s built into us, and it’s the sympathetic breath that lives in the lung area. And it’s a reflex when we don’t have enough oxygen in the lungs. That is a reflex that goes off. That is when we grasp grasp, grasp. Grasp for AR Yes, yes. Yes, guys. Yes, quad two. Okay. It’s an it’s a reflex. It’s not it happens to us. It’s built into us, fortunately. So we don’t suffocate. However, the conscious breath, we actually bring our awareness so that the breath can come into the belly. Of course, the breath itself doesn’t go there. But we breathe deeply into the belly where the diaphragm expands. And that allows us to shift our state of being when we breathe in the parasympathetic way, this valley breath. What arises is like that endorphins and serotonin and all of that gets activated. And it stills, calms our mind.

So breath, and awareness is the first thing so the initial phase of learning is very much working with subtle energy without going to the aroused energy first, because if we were to go to aroused energy first, the body would just kick in with what it’s familiar with. So we couldn’t distinguish unless we really retap recalibrate the body and we can only do is in a subtle state, when we can be in the watch shop, and not when the NRC goes up, and it feels so good, and who wants to focus now just around well. So that is essential. And then also really learning about the flow of energy in the human body and how that shows up for you how it shows up as sensations in your physical body, as emotions in your emotional body. And as salts in your mental body. Because if we don’t learn how to be the watch, or the weakness of our sensations, emotions, and thoughts, our sensations and emotions and thoughts have us, we don’t have them. So we are victims of whatever happens to us our we get triggered. We want to learn to be the trigger, you know, to, so that I can guide in the way I want to feel and what I want to experience. So I would say that’s the bottom line, and then…

Freddy Zental Weaver 51:12
How to get in touch with us?

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 51:14
Oh, and then actually, we thought that this may come up. So we have a gift for the audience, which is actually called an introduction to sacral meditation. It’s a video class with foundational practices, where what I just described, can be learned in simple steps, but you want to know what to do and then how to do it, and then do it, and practice it. So that is one way. Also, of course, at our website tantranova.com. There are different workshops for men, for women, co Ed, foundations, workshops, advanced workshops, where we then, you know, teach sexual rituals in the advanced workshops, private programs for people who feel more comfortable in a one-on-one situation. And another way to learn more about it is, you know, our book sexual enlightenment, which is available on Amazon.

Kevin Anthony 52:28
I have a copy right here.

Freddy Zental Weaver 52:30
Well, you’re ready on the spot there.

Kevin Anthony 52:36
Well, that’s all awesome links for all of that will be in the description. So go check that out. And I have one last question for you guys. And the question that I asked everybody on the show you each get an opportunity to answer. And it’s going to be interesting given who you are and what you do. So a lot of people asked this question, they turned very, very red, and then they think about it, and then they managed to get something out. I don’t think you’ll have that much difficulty with this question. But I’m curious and it is. What is your best sexual talent?

Freddy Zental Weaver 53:13
Great. My best sexual talent is, I think, letting go of any story, letting go into the moment, being passionate and tactile and very skilled with my hands, and loving my body and loving the body that I’m with. That’s probably the best I could say, being present.

Kevin Anthony 53:44
That’s a huge skill, by the way being present is one that is sadly lacking in today’s society. So yeah, Ellsworth, how about you?

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 53:56
My skilled capacity that I have greatly developed consciously is really connecting with a heart and have the rest flow. And N and raising the connection both with myself and with my beloved into a more ethereal orgasmic state, in which there doesn’t need to be any movement. You know, that is a tuning, integrating and flowing in synchronicity, these moments that may appeal where the experience of oneness arises just by itself.

Kevin Anthony 54:52
Well, that sounds absolutely wonderful. And you know, all the things that we’ve been talking about today, along with both of those skills that you just shared. are how you get to, you know what we say those sort of higher levels of lovemaking, those places that you can go to that are so much more than just the physical connection. So those are great skills to have.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 55:14
Thank you.

Kevin Anthony 55:16
All right, everybody. I hope that that gave you a deeper insight into what we mean when we say Tantra. Hopefully, it has inspired you to try something maybe that you haven’t tried before. And I want to thank both of you for coming on the show and sharing your knowledge with everyone.

Freddy Zental Weaver 55:37
Thank you for having us on your platform. It’s great to see you again.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth 55:40
Thank you.

Kevin Anthony 55:41
You’re welcome. All right, everybody. That’s all the time that I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion vault at KevinandCéline.com/vault. That’s KevinandCéline.com/vault. Thanks for listening. And remember, as Céline used to say you’re amazing!