How To Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Parnter’s Family With Guy Blaise

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman single or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 253. And it is titled How to strengthen your relationship with your partner’s family. So this is actually something that we haven’t talked about on the show. But I think it’s a really important topic to talk about, which is how do you get along with your in-laws. So you know, we think about a relationship always as the relationship between just two people. But unless you live really far away from your in-laws, which actually, my wife and I did live far away from both of our in-laws, but even still, it has an impact. There is a relationship there that is developed, which can have either really positive consequences or really negative consequences. And we, unfortunately, see that a lot where one side or the other, they don’t get along with the inlaws. And that can put a lot of stress on a relationship.

So today we’re going to talk about how to nurture those relationships where people go wrong, and what they can do to be better at it. And some differences, some cultural differences. This show isn’t specifically about cultural differences, but it is a factor. And as listeners of the show, know, as Céline was from Switzerland, and so there were definitely cultural differences there and language differences and all that. So I have personal experience, as does my guest today. So I think this is going to be a really interesting show. But before we do that quick word from our sponsor, do you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed then check out Power and Mastery, it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Whether you want to have harder erections, last longer, or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at https://www.powerandmastery.com. Okay, so, first of all, I forgot to ask you, I know I haven’t officially welcomed you to the show yet. But do you pronounce your name guy or ghee?

Guy Blaise 2:36
The spelling is Guy. But in French, we say ghee.

Kevin Anthony 2:41
Okay, well, having a little bit of French background, I assumed the French pronunciation would be ghee but then I thought I shouldn’t make that assumption I should ask. Alright, so Guy Blaze is an author and Frenchman living and working in America. Previously, he lived in eastern France and Paris, where he witnessed the dating experiences of the strong women in his family and listened to closely to his grandmother’s advice about love. After two decades of living between France and the United States and being struck by the differences between the two cultures’ approaches to romance and sex. He began writing books offering his insights and started the French perspective blog. So you know, this show, first of all, welcome to the show Guy.

Guy Blaise 3:27
Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me.

Kevin Anthony 3:30
You’re welcome. So, this is interesting, because because, you know, I dated and was married to, essentially a French woman. I mean, she was from Switzerland, but she lived really right on the border between Switzerland and France in the French-speaking and French cultural part of Switzerland. I have a unique sort of insight into the cultural differences in how those cultures treat sex, love, and romance. And they are actually quite different. And so I’m kind of excited to talk a little bit about that, especially how that factors into, you know, how you’re dealing with the families, right, when you have two families that are from different cultures.

Yeah. Before we dive into that, though, the first thing I want to ask you is, okay, so because of your background, because being a native Frenchman, but you’ve lived here in the US, and you’re a trained scientist, I’m wondering if you could tell the audience a little bit about your background, because, you know, people read your bio on the phone. He’s a trained scientist, okay. He’s lived in both places. But how has your background influenced your insights when it comes to relationships and cultural differences and how did that lead you into writing books about it?

Guy Blaise 4:48
Well, you know I left for us because I got a job here in the United States. So I study I was an engineer and then become a scientist. So I’m more focused on science. And then leaving here a stat observing the society when it comes to dating, the first thing that he you know, you notice here, oh, PDA, you know. And you wonder, well, for the Americans don’t kiss in public, you know, it like the cuff walking on the street, you can record it on hold hands. So I sat observing it. And then I started writing letters explaining to my siblings in France, in France. And then one day, a good friend of mine said, why don’t you write a book about it? I said, No, I never thought about it. And then I recall the conversation that I had with many people and kind of making it a topic that I came out right with her about the relationship and dating here in America to become an accidental writer.

Kevin Anthony 5:59
So that’s interesting, because, you know, I see a lot of people being an entrepreneur, I see a lot of entrepreneurial people say, I’m gonna write a book, and I’m just instantly going to be famous, and everybody’s gonna love it. And I’m gonna make all this money. And anybody that’s written a book knows that that’s not really the way that it works. However, in your experience, you became an accidental writer. But people seem to really like what you wrote. And they kind of wanted more. Tell us a little bit about that. Like, what was the response to that initial accidental book that you wrote?

Guy Blaise 6:32
So I wrote a book called Viva  La Difference, a Frenchman’s perspective on American Women. So it was just my experience a conversation with the people, a woman, and my colleagues, some of my friends at work complaining, you know, you get a weekend, Friday, Saturday, people go on the family and you meet a colleague on Monday, you say, how was your weekend? Or two guys sitting drinking a coffee with me and start complaining about his wife? For you say like, oh my god, you know, in France, if you talk bad about your partner, it’s embarrassing. But here is like someone wants to vent. You know, he’s saying, oh you know, my wife? Oh, I can’t do that. You know, oh, my wife we had an argument. Okay, you sit there and just listen. But he gave me a topic that do I cover, so then it’s an accumulation of letters, topics that I have accumulated, and I wrote about the American how I perceive it.

Of course, as a result of the book called Viva la Difference, a Frenchman’s Perspective on American Women. I made a comment in one day, I say, Oh, wow, if American women were a coffee mug, they probably will know what their husbands talked about them. So the reaction was so big. So I decided to write to collect all the letters that I got from the reaction review. And I reached out to some women’s book clubs. And I asked them so if you guys have questions to ask me that you miss in the book, just let me know that guy about 300 letters. So I selected the 60 best letters and the best questions. So I make it a book called Love, like the French. So the 60 questions all topics, sexuality, violence, and libido and lack of intimacy in marriage, in me, so that’s how I become a second. So that was my second book and reviews keep coming. And I think  Love Like the French is a bestseller on Amazon. And I decided to write another book called Love Lachman. As a result of love, like the French, just the best advice to American men to be a better partner, if they can learn from defense.

Kevin Anthony 9:19
Now, we could do a whole show on each one of those books. And we don’t really have time for that in this episode, but I wanted to maybe touch on a couple of things because the point of this show really is talking about, you know, how do we manage those relationships with our in-laws and, you know, bringing in the cultural differences, however, you just started talking a little bit about the differences between French and American women. I can’t pass over that without asking you a little bit about it. So what aren’t because I have my blue man, years of being with a French woman. I have my own opinions on this, but I’m really curious what Do you see are some of the main differences between French and American women?

Guy Blaise 10:05
Well, the French women are more how to say it in English, excellent, very outspoken. They set the bar low to be high about the expected expectations of their partner. But here I just noticed, women are much more laid back No, no really challenge men very much afraid to kind of add so much layer to that the expectation is so high. You have to be like this, and these big tests your manners, you know, in order for them to feel comfortable with you. But here in America, yeah, it’s a different culture. So you have to basically pay attention, like in France, you know, see a woman go to, to a store after the gym. Here will make can go to the gym, if you go to the store and wear the, you know, the suede, you know, the, you know, it’s like a, it’s a football. You know, you had to get used to it, you know?

Kevin Anthony 11:17
Yes, they have made whole satire videos on the ladies going from yoga class to the grocery store, whatever. It’s pretty fun. Exactly.

Guy Blaise 11:26
And sometimes holding the yoga mat on the, you know, going into like, wow, you know, so yeah, so many New Yorkers, so many differences.

Kevin Anthony 11:37
So, you know, I don’t know if we talked about this in the pre-interview, and I don’t think I’ve actually ever talked about it on the show. Everybody that listens to the show, that’s a regular listener obviously knows Céline and what Her background was. But what they probably don’t know is that I’ve also dated several other women from French backgrounds. So I was very seriously involved for a number of years with another woman who was from France. Okay. And even prior to that, I dated somebody who was from Quebec, all native French speakers all from French cultures. And, you know, people kind of tease me about that a little bit. And they’re like, Haha, you obviously have a thing for French women. I’m like, I didn’t even know they were French.

When I first met them, you know, it’s not like I Oh, she’s French, I’m gonna go date her. It took me a while to kind of think about that, like, why is it that I was attracted to these particular women, Destiny, it’s, maybe but I’ll tell you since we’re talking about the main differences between French and American women. Just briefly, as an aside here on the show, here’s what I learned and what I figured out. least for me, and I’m not saying this is true across the board. So American women, if you’re listening, don’t get all upset and bent out of shape here. One of the things that I noticed was that French women tend to be more in their feminine, and American women tend to operate more from their masculine. And so what I realized is the reason why I kept being attracted to these French women is because they were so feminine. So like, here’s, here’s another not to say that women’s yoga clothes aren’t feminine because they do accentuate a lot of the feminine qualities of their bodies. However, a French woman would be more likely to go home and put on a dress and go to the store.

Guy Blaise 13:25
Exactly. And that’s the way they raise because they have to be aware of how they appeal, skirt, breasts, to salary, you know, the femininity of a woman and being self-aware of also of their, their weight, where they eat. It’s always a reminder. And it’s not for the men, it’s for themselves for their own self-esteem. Yeah. So yeah, that’s just the way the culture is.

Kevin Anthony 13:59
Yeah. So that was that that was a big, sort of aha, for me, I’m like, Oh, I get it, I see what it is that I am attracted to. So, you know, for listeners who are listening, both ladies and men. Granted, I am not representing all men out there. But I think I am relatively normal in the sense that a lot of men are looking for women that are embracing their femininity. So that’s, that’s maybe a takeaway from that part. Okay. I didn’t want to go too far down that rabbit hole, but I couldn’t pass that up without asking that question to you. Let’s kind of go get back on track here with the subject matter that we originally intended to cover. We’re talking about sort of family and in-law dynamics. So I’m curious, what are some of those family-in-law dynamics that you have witnessed?

Guy Blaise 14:54
Or the dynamic is it you know, it’s about how comfortable You are with the people you meet. First of all, is a big challenge when you meet your in-laws for the first time, but I always believe that your partner should be, your ambassador to her own family, you know, kind of prepare the ground before the first meeting. Make sure that you know, you caught your partner the things you should not say or be aware of, you know, because here in America just noticed that politics is one of the things that can make people crash. So yeah, I will look at that way that also the way you make a decision, when you are a partner, you want to introduce your partner to your family, depending on your comfort zone, how comfortable you are, before you cross that line, you know, so.

Kevin Anthony 16:00
So you make a really good point there about your partner should be your ambassador. And there’s an old comedy movie here in the United States called Meet the Parents. Oh, you’ve probably seen I know, a lot of listeners have seen that movie. It’s a great funny movie. I’ve watched it numerous times over the years. But what you see represented in that movie, and granted, it’s a comedy. And it’s an exaggeration. But what you see is, when they go to meet the parents for the first time, the woman in the couple tends to really like she just jumps in with her family. And it’s all about her in the family. And he’s kind of like on the outside making all these mistakes, because she’s not helping him integrate into that family. And while that’s an exaggeration, you do see that quite a lot. And I think the point that you made ghee is totally spot on, which is that you need to be the ambassador, you should be telling your partner if if it’s your family, their meeting, here’s how they do things. Here’s the expectations they have, here’s how you should act around them. Here’s what will set you up for success.

Guy Blaise 17:15
Exactly. Exactly. Because you need to coach your partner. He does some crazy topics that you know, if you don’t believe in God, don’t come and tell to your future in-law that you are atheist. That’s bad stuff. You know, or just don’t have an opinion or don’t be critical about religion, you know, all these things. It’s your job as a partner to coach your partner. So that the meeting can go smoothly.

Kevin Anthony 17:50
So what would you say? Okay, let’s say you’re, you’re meeting your in-laws for the first time. And you feel like maybe you weren’t properly prepared by your partner? What? What do you think? How would you go about asking your partner Hey, could you help me out here a little bit?

Guy Blaise 18:12
Both things set very important religion, politics, how you raise what your parents don’t like to talk about? Those are basic questions that you need to know ahead before you meet them. And then also, sometimes, I mean, dads, if you’re a guy and her dad probably will check you screen you more than you know, he wants to know that what you think and you know, the dad will often are the protector of the daughter. So you have to know, before you meet them, also how comfortable you are you and be reserved. Don’t just jump in and start talking about things that can, you know, put you in trouble.

Kevin Anthony 19:08
But so you know that that brings up another question.  I’ve been in this position, as I’m sure most men have many times, which is okay, you are meeting her dad for the very first time. What are some general guidelines that they should follow? How should they behave in that situation?

Guy Blaise 19:27
Well, I will say right, treat them like they were your best customer. So behave. Because you know, it’s like a test. They were looking at you they take you know, because I’m sure they hear about you. But actually, they’re mirroring you for the first time, your dress code, your manners, your words, your attitude in general. I mean, everything matters. So I will No, just jump in Oh, I just learned to know them to the door. And during the conversation about the things you know about them?

Kevin Anthony 20:16
Yeah, that’s a very good point as well. Don’t make it all about yourself, interact with them and make it a point to get to know them. And you can, you can do that by starting off by talking about the things that you know, like, Oh, so you know, so and so it tells me that you’re into boats. And tell me about that, or you do this for a living? That sounds interesting.

Guy Blaise 20:40
Yeah, that shows that you are interested to know them. But it’s all centered around you. I wear that that’s not good.

Kevin Anthony 20:55
Yeah, so you want to show that you’re interested. And you want to also pay attention to all those sorts of little details and how you show up. And I like, the way you said it, treat them as if they are your best customer. Yeah, I think another way of looking at it, too, is that this is a very important job interview that you are going

Guy Blaise 21:21
to a job interview. Because of that impression, and don’t be acting, you know, be BE YOURSELF BE, you know, natural, don’t just have a bit be at your best behave or at that moment, and then the next hour, you’re a jerk, you know, that’s, that’s an acceptable Don’t be yourself and show interest that you know, about will be more about them and being those topics and what they do what.

Kevin Anthony 21:50
What has been your own personal experience with this?

Guy Blaise 21:55
Well, you know, I have multiple life, you know, you know, from the German to the Americans, you know, it else I’m very reserved, and I usually like to listen more than say, which make people comfortable. And when you listen, and you show that you, you know, them and you know a little bit more about what they do. Those are the area you have to be dealing with just stay in those, that attitude. And also, because they watch you they know how you talk to their daughter, or how, how you behave around her, they can tell they know, kids, they know if you really are acting or not, but just be at your best behavior. And, that should be consistent even after you know that just be natural.

Kevin Anthony 22:52
Yeah, I think that’s another important point to make, which is to really be yourself and be natural, because, you know, it’s funny. This changes as we get older, but let’s say you’re a young couple, right? And you’re you’re meeting the in-laws for the first time, young people always tend to look at older people and think these people don’t know anything. They’re so old school, they have no idea what we’re up to, as you know, in this generation, and they completely fail to realize that their parents most likely have been there and done that they know all this stuff. They’re looking at you and they’ve got you pinpointed immediately from the moment that they meet you.

Guy Blaise 23:32
We have a saying in French, you can teach an old monkey how to make gestures. So, so the bad know. And you know, they didn’t know. But don’t just think that all you know, they all people know all people actually have more experience.

Kevin Anthony 23:53
So one thing that I’ve done for many years, just as sort of a side thing, because I enjoy it is, you know, I’ve been a martial artist for many years. And I’ve taught martial arts for a lot of years, too. And I taught primarily teenagers, martial arts. And so I have a lot of experience with this, you know, they come in and they like, they don’t want to tell me things. And they talk to me like, I’m some old guy that doesn’t know anything, right? And so then we have some really frank conversations, and I’m like, hey, look, I’m not your dad. So I can tell you things that your dad isn’t going to tell you. But trust me, he knows all of this. He’s been there. Done that, too.

Guy Blaise 24:31
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They think there was that in disappeared innovation. So life didn’t exist before.

Kevin Anthony 24:38
Exactly. So let’s talk a little bit about cultural differences because that’s a big factor that comes in here as well. What are some of the challenges you see? I know I can answer this question immediately, but I want to hear your perspective. What are some of the challenges that come in when you’re meeting in-laws and they’re from a different culture?

Guy Blaise 25:00
Well, first of all, don’t see the world the same way. Some people, some families may think that the world is flat, you know, and you come in with your vision, the, you know, the world is different. But I will say, the difference is more how, you know, they were raised, everybody comes out, it’s like, they’re, they come from their own culture. So, if you meet them learn about their background, how they were raised, which area, you know, like, in the United States, here, I see every area region of United States have, like the sophomore, you know, Christians. So you have, to acknowledge those things and respect the differences. And now jumping on conclusions, or trying to judge anybody you’re just communicating openly, ultimately, and, and be more respectful to the people.

Kevin Anthony 26:03
Yeah, that’s, that’s a great point is if it is a culture that’s very different than yours, then it would be a good idea to take some time to at least learn a few basics about it, think that you can understand where they’re coming from, because what you said is absolutely true. That different cultures See the world differently, and they have different perspectives. You know, especially, I see this a lot in the US less so in Europe. But in the US, it’s very common to run into people who’ve never been out of the country. They’ve never left the United States. And so they’ve been in this bubble of American culture their entire lives. Yeah. And so, therefore, they see the entire world through the lens of American culture. Yeah. Whereas, you know, if you’ve traveled a bit, or you’ve maybe you’ve lived in another country for a while, you can see that the perspectives can be really, really different. Something I think, European people, one because Europe is so small and because the cultures are so different between all of those countries, and people tend to travel around through those countries a lot. They get different perspectives more often than we do here on this giant piece of land we call America that’s relatively similar.

Guy Blaise 27:22
Yeah, it’s like an island. America is like Island. I mean, you meet people, who say, Oh, you just came from vacation? What did you do? Oh, I was just around taking care of my house and going fishing. And wow, you got four weeks, and you just stayed on. So you can go far. And also the challenge attack can have topics that you can talk to people about, very limited you can talk about Spain because they have never been when you look at the world news here, it’s limited to America, what they call world news. But unless there is a terror, terror somewhere, or some big event in the world to talk about it, they just talk briefly about their past. So yeah, the joke here is that you learn about people learn here when there is wartime, you know, we talk about Ukraine, you know because something is going on. So it’s sometimes very challenging to have a conversation with someone because it has never traveled or they never left the States.

Kevin Anthony 28:38
Yeah, that can definitely be a challenge because as you pointed out they don’t have the experience because they haven’t been there but you’re right I mean we call it world news but the reality is the only time we hear about it is if the US military or some politicians happen to be over there for some particular reason right then we hear about it

Guy Blaise 28:58
Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 29:03
You know, another cultural difference that really factors in especially when it comes to meeting the in-laws that I’ve personally experienced is language differences are language barriers. Yeah, what is your experience been with that?

Guy Blaise 29:19
Whoa, the language is so cold you have a if you got an accent like me, of course, they will ask you where you are from. Right so and then you happen to be color black, of course, they want to know because the idea that all the French are white, for example, it’s an assumption you know, like, and then you have to explain you know, give her more details and then when you go to Paris you see people of color we got a Jewish she got the Arabs and for it’s interesting experience because this, how American perceive the rest of the world. It’s just I don’t know why it’s so limited at that level. But you know, because I mean, the country is so big, it’s a continent.

Kevin Anthony 30:11
It is. And I think that one of the problems is it’s big, but it is relatively similar across all of that landmass. Right? So you can travel quite a distance, but the culture really doesn’t change all that much. Yeah, yeah. And, we’re relatively isolated from other cultures. I mean, with the exception of Quebec, Canadian culture isn’t much different from the US. Mexican culture is quite different. But we only border Mexico for a certain amount. And a lot of people don’t really know, unless you live in California, Texas, or Arizona, you don’t really have any contact with Mexican culture. So yeah, we just, you know, go ahead.

Guy Blaise 30:58
I know you notice also that Mexican becomes generic of Latinos, you know.

Kevin Anthony 31:05
That does seem to happen sometimes. Anybody who is Mexican, or Spanish, or any other Latin country would know that each one of them has their own distinct cultures, even though they might share the same language. Yeah. So, so all of these things can really come in and present additional challenges when it comes to meeting your in-laws. I know for me, you know, I’m, I’m learning more French, I’m getting better at it. I do my French practice every day. I’m sure Celine is probably laughing on the other side going, now you’ve finally gotten serious about learning French. The problem is, I relied too much on her when she was alive to translate because she was fantastic with language. And she could instantly translate in either perfect English or perfect French back and forth seamlessly. And it was just so easy that it was easier to just let her do it than to stumble my way through trying to get better at my own French and so unfortunately, I relied too much on her but now I’m really working on it, and but you know, prior to doing that, it presented a challenge because it’s, it’s harder to communicate more complex concepts and emotions and feelings to your in-laws when you don’t have the language skills. And you know, we have translation tools, but they don’t do good with feelings and complex ideas.

Guy Blaise 32:46
Well, you keep traveling, you’re keep going back to France, and you will improve.

Kevin Anthony 32:51
Well, that is the best way to learn a new language is to go immerse yourself in it and live there for a while.

Guy Blaise 32:57
Yeah, it’s really important that Amazon wants to point a point, like, when you meet somebody, you’re dating someone who’s different. Of course, you do your homework, you know, by learning about their culture, their country, like we have the same friendship. I’m translating it in. If you love, we love a dog, you have to support the fleas. So you have to do your best to, study and learn about the culture so that you can fit in, in that culture.

Kevin Anthony 33:34
Yeah. And just, you know, sometimes people think that they have to either really know the language or know lots about the culture in order for their in-laws to, you know, like them or accept them. And I would say that all they really want is for you to make an effort.

Guy Blaise 33:54
Yes, yes, show them that you are interested because differences is very beautiful differences. The difference will make you grow. I think life would be boring if everybody you know, just marry the same people, the same culture, life would be boring gummy differences. You always learned something and we just came from Switzerland, right? So you go to France, that helps you to see a different perspective of life. Yeah, I’ll tell you that I left France. I don’t regret it, you know, to come here and discover because my vision of America was different from France.

Kevin Anthony 34:37
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I’m a huge proponent of people at least getting out and traveling, especially when they’re young. You got the idea. You know, I wouldn’t have done it when I was younger because I wasn’t quite ready for it. Maturity wise yet, but as an adult, I look back and I think man when I was at school, will age, I should have gone and studied abroad. That is such a critical and important time to get out and see the world. And all the differences out there before the programming from where you live gets too deep.

Guy Blaise 35:15
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think young people are missing so many opportunities to see and learn different languages. It’s always add you can use a plus.

Kevin Anthony 35:26
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know. So, my family, my heritage come from a bunch of different European countries. But I’m mostly if you look at the makeup of my ancestors, mostly Italian, so, but I didn’t even know that my grandfather spoke Italian until I was in my 20s. Because he never spoke it. And what’s interesting is, you know, I asked him about that and some of the other cultural stuff. And his answer to that really was, well, you know, when we came here to America, we were Americans. And that was it, right, like, and basically, the idea is they really wanted to fit in. It’s not that they didn’t care about their culture, but they didn’t want to be seen as different when they got here. So for them, it was like, No, we’re in America. We speak English now. Right? We are Americans now because this is where we live. And that’s that and they just wanted to assimilate and fit in. Well, I totally understand that. The negative side of that is all the descendants now have lost.

Guy Blaise 36:33
Their Yeah. You probably have still family. Oh, yeah, I’m sure. We’re fortunate that gives you to, you know, fly to Italy to see your family?

Kevin Anthony 36:48
Yeah, I’m actually an Italian citizen, also. So that’s kind of cool. But yeah, just that idea of back then. They didn’t embrace speaking multiple languages. But we also didn’t live in a global society back then either. Yeah, we do. People can move around all over, we’ve got technology to connect us. It’s very common to interact with other cultures. And so having that the ability to speak multiple languages is extremely helpful in today’s world.

Guy Blaise 37:24
It is very, very important.

Kevin Anthony 37:27
Okay, one quick break for a sponsor. I got a couple more questions to ask you after that. Okay. Hey, guys, you know what makes a man great, you know, the kind of masculine man that women are irresistibly attracted to and want Is it money, job title, his physical body being great in bed, a big penis, great pickup lines. But what if you don’t have those are only some of them What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough, or are always stuck in the friend zone, I can help you. If you are ready to make big changes and finally become the man you have always wanted to be, then this is the program for you to find out more, go to KevinandCéline.com/go/warrior that is KevinandCéline.com/go/warrior. That is where you can reach out to me and schedule a strategy call so we can talk about how I can help you get to where you want to be with your sex, love, and relationship. Okay, so we’ve been talking about you know, what it’s like when you meet your in-laws, how you should behave when you meet with them, how cultural differences affect that sort of thing. Are there any last guidelines or recommendations you have for people when they’re about to meet their in-laws?

Guy Blaise 38:55
Who you’re homework and know that when you get to know them, always try to spend time with them. What’s the best way to know someone is to spend time with them? Of course, I’m not saying invite yourself to the replays but always be happy to see them and make yourself available sometimes, how can I add How can I see you know, which is the parent in law is can be certain generation they may you know, have you know certain age but when you are on them offer any support any help they need while you’re on them. Don’t wait we ask you know if your future mother-in-law is trying to do something or whatever you say how can I help you don’t make you make them feel like you. Are you someone who can assimilate into the lifestyle? Yeah, very important.

Kevin Anthony 40:10
Yeah. You know, I would say, because we see this a lot in like movies and TV shows this, this idea of how difficult it is to meet the parents or to spend time with the in-laws, and you see the, you know, all the times like, oh, no, we have to go see the in-laws, this is going to be terrible, right? I just want people to know that, if you follow the advice here, the advice that he is giving, and if you read the book, and you get deeper into it, you can really have an amazing relationship with your in-laws. And, you know, I just spent two weeks by myself, with siblings, parents, my in-laws, living with them, you know, not staying at a hotel and just getting together for dinner, but living with them on their property. And it was amazing. Yeah, in France, and it we had a really beautiful time together. And it can be like that you can have that type of relationship with your in-laws, if you if you try if you work

Guy Blaise 41:14
them to know them more every time you see that they you discover something about them.

Kevin Anthony 41:21
Exactly.

Guy Blaise 41:22
That’s very amazing. And, you know,

Kevin Anthony 41:26
I mean, obviously, there, there were some reasons why we got together, around, you know, salines passing, but it wasn’t just about that. And, you know, the beautiful thing is, they’re the ones that reached out to me and invited me and wanted me to come stay with them. So that shows you a little bit about the relationship that we’ve cultivated over the years. Exactly.

Guy Blaise 41:51
And, sometime in this situation. Also, you notice that Oh, when there is a death, sometimes people cut the ties, which is unfortunate, you know, that people will no talk again, because the person that lacks the liaison between you and them is not there anymore by No, that does not mean that you should not be keeping the same relationship we used to have very important.

Kevin Anthony 42:24
Exactly. And we are both on there. And then on my end, we both made that very clear, right from the beginning that we wanted to stay in contact and continue to nurture that relationship. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I have, we’re getting close to the end of the show here. But I wanted to ask you about another book briefly that you’ve written. Cuz I find this interesting also. Which is the Love Like a Man, a French Man’s Guide to help American men be better partners? Yeah, I’m curious, from your perspective, what are the biggest mistakes you see American men making?

Guy Blaise 43:05
They are too aggressive. They’ve been trained or raised in a way that a man should not show their emotion, that’s stupid. At the end of the day, any human we all have our moments of vulnerability of showing emotions, but if you want to hide, because I think most of the frustration I hear from women here, before they’ll open up, or close, they don’t share their feelings. So I don’t know any woman who can be a mind reader. You know, see if you don’t open up and that does not make you a weak person. No, I think the more you communicate the better. Sometimes miscommunication can be working, mislead, you know, all your relation can go wrong, because you’re hiding things that he’s thinking, Oh, if I cry, you know, you being in France, you see men cry, because they want to, you know, evade, that does not make them less men. So that’s one of the big, big things that I noticed here.

Kevin Anthony 44:17
Yeah, and I love that point about, you know, showing your emotions doesn’t make you weak.

Guy Blaise 44:23
No, not necessarily. You, you can be a black belt. You can cry, that’s okay. C’est la vie does not make you that you’re going to lose your level your black belt, you know. So that’s one of the frustrations I get from American women here that oh, he doesn’t open up. He, you know, does not share his feelings and Okay, so then what will happen after that? You know,

Kevin Anthony 44:59
yeah, yeah. So so for guys listening, the takeaway from that is to allow yourself to open up a bit more be a little bit more vulnerable, and show your emotion in appropriate ways.

Guy Blaise 45:10
I respect a woman. Respect woman. I mean, it’s, it’s actually shooting yourself on your foot. If you don’t, I mean, a woman is your wife, you’re your sister, you’re all too. I mean, I mean, you know, the B word I hear often you’re referring to a woman, which, you know, is not sexy.

Kevin Anthony 45:35
I completely agree.

Guy Blaise 45:38
That once again, you won’t, you know, just respect to my give women the title of the lady.

Kevin Anthony 45:46
Yes, yes. I totally agree with that, you know, one of the things that I love about doing this show is I get to really talk to a lot of different people. So people from all different professions, people from different cultures, different countries, all kinds of different things. But there are some of what I like to call universal truths that seem to come across all the different people that I talk about. Right, and you just hit on one right there, which is, you know, treat women with respect. Give them the position of, you know, lady.

Guy Blaise 46:25
Yeah, lady. Yeah. That’s, you know, because I know, the complaints I hear often from men here, or, you know, the feminist movement, where blah, blah, blah, you know, oh, they tried to reduce it now. They can believe what they believe but you live your life with principle. Yes, respect women no matter what.

Kevin Anthony 46:50
You know, that’s a mic-drop moment right there. treating women with respect no matter what.

Guy Blaise 46:57
You’re angry or not angry? Just control your words. Don’t start cursing, you know, because you lost your mind. No, that’s not sexy.

Kevin Anthony 47:07
I completely agree. Okay, well, this has been a great conversation. We are getting to the end of it. I would love it. If you could tell listeners where they could find more of your work how they can get your books.

Guy Blaise 47:20
Yeah, so I have a website called the French perspective, that calm. And most of my books are on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Yeah, they found love lack of French. vive la difference. And love Lachman. So yeah, by guiltless source.

Kevin Anthony 47:39
But I’m actually going to check those out. I’m really curious. I’d like to read them. And see, I think they’re from talking with you. I know that there’s great information in there. But also I feel like given my experience that I’m going to, I’m going to relate to a lot of what you share in there. So I’m going to check those out myself. Okay, I got one last question for you. It’s a question that we ask everybody that comes on the show. So what is your best sexual talent?

Guy Blaise 48:15
Cuddling?

Kevin Anthony 48:17
Ah,

Guy Blaise 48:19
Yes. I think that the best moment of sharing feelings. You being in France is called a color. You sit with your partner in front of the TV, and play with her hair. Sometimes you don’t have to speak. Your hand will speak for you. There are so many ways to speak. can use your hand to play with your partner’s hair. While you’re watching the news, the TV the movie. Sex doesn’t start in the bedroom.

Kevin Anthony 48:54
Yes, that is absolutely true. 100% We used to talk about that all the time on this show how sex doesn’t start just when you reach the bedroom? Yeah. So that’s what I love about this right having you on you come from a different culture. You’ve got a different background and perspective. And yet here are those universal truths. Just filtering up to the surface again, right? Second, because I start when you hit the bedroom doesn’t matter where you’re from.

Guy Blaise 49:21
And Valentine’s Day is 365 days.

Kevin Anthony 49:25
Yes. Yes. Yes. Great advice. Well, good. I want to thank you for coming on the show. It was a pleasure to talk with you.

Guy Blaise 49:34
Thank you for having me. Great.

Kevin Anthony 49:38
All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

We hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 49:56
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at https://www.kevinandceline.com/vault. That’s https://www.kevinandceline.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 50:10
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 50:11
And remember, you’re amazing!